Searching for an identity

Let me start this off by saying that Ellie is a healthy, wonderful little girl. I haven't written since she was born as life has been a whirlwind of late. We moved from Saratoga Springs to Bountiful, which is like a homecoming for me. My parents both grew up here and I was born at the hospital up the road. I'm only a few minutes up the street from my Grandparents.

But this is not why I wanted to blog tonight. I'm doing this as a way to possibly make contact with some family out there. My mother, Marianne Parker, was adopted. She was adopted by Robert Parker and Lucille Matthews Parker in 1962. She was born in Boise, Idaho. Her birth mothers name was Rose, but I don't remember her last name. My father is pretty sure her biological fathers name is Billy Greathouse.

Years ago her biological sister, who's name I can't recall, contacted me on myspace. I never got back in touch with her and I didn't ever check my myspace account. I'm searching for her and for answers about my mothers biological parents. It would be nice to find of things for medical purposes and to know where I come from. I know my mothers biological dad is an American Indian, and I'd love to know more about him and what tribe he is from. If anyone reading this knows how to even start to look for answers, or if you're family and you can help me fill in the blanks, I'd really appreciate it. My mother and both her parents have passed away, so I'm left without much to go off of. Thanks for anything you can help with.

Mother:

Marianne Parker Mabey Tillotson
5/26/1962 - 6/30/2000
Born in Boise, Idaho

Birth Mother:
Rose

Birth Father:
Billy Greathouse (?)

Adopted to:
Robert and Lucille Parker
of Bountiful, Utah

Mending Fences

If you've been following my blog or If you've stumbled across some of my older posts, or if you're a close friend and you know my situation, you likely know that I've had some family issues in the past. I talked rather openly and freely about many topics, but the one that caused me the most pain and anger had to do with my father. For a long time we were not getting alone or even speaking. It was the hardest and most confusing thing I've dealt with. I'm not going to get into specifics as to why things were the way they were. There is no need to rehash the past, nor is there any reason to place blame on anyone or anything. People fight. People disagree. Bad things can happen even when the intent is good. In the end what matters most is that I have my dad back in my life. He's a rather private man, so I'm just going to leave our story alone, but I had to throw this picture up on my blog. It makes me happier than words can express.

Welcome Miss Ellie

Eleanor Kenley Mabey was born July 1st 2013 at 7:50am.

Baby is perfectly healthy and Momma was a champ! Everything worked out perfectly and now our family is complete. The surgery was much easier on Jill this time around. Being in labor for 19 hours the last time made things much worse. When I got to see her in recovery she looked amazing. You'd have never known just by seeing her and talking with her that she was minutes removed from major surgery.

Eleanor AKA Ellie, AKA Rigby, AKA eEK is perfect. Zero health problems. She is a cutie too. So similar to how her sister looked when she was born, we have some pictures of the girls that friends and family can not correctly make out who is who! She came in a whole pound less than Lucy, which isn't a bad thing. All the nurses kept talking about how much Ellie was their favorite baby in the hospital and how sweet our little eEK's disposition is.

So you're probably wondering what eEK is all about? Despite the fact that she does have a major set of lungs on her, she doesn't cry too much. But she does make lots of coo's and cute noises. One of those noises sound like an "eek". Being that her initials are EK, I've stylized the name as such, eEK. Since I am a huge Beatles fan, you can probably make the connection to the Rigby nickname.

So my concerns about loving two children equally has diminished. I adore my Ellie. As she continues to grow from a potato into a little girl, I'm sure my love will grow leaps and bounds, just as it did with Lucy. Having these two kids just feels right. Not that I am not overwhelmed. After coming home today and the visitors left, Lucy turned in the Tasmanian Devil and destroyed the house, ignored her parents, blatantly disobeyed, and whined. A lot. We made it through the day however, and we will continue to push onwards.

I'll write later about the whole experience welcoming Eleanor into our lives later, but for now I just wanted to throw out an update about her and Jill.

Oh, and no worrying was necessary. The hospital was packed to the brim with Lorna Doone cookies. Plus, my father in law bought me a box of my own to help me make it through the next little while. ;)

To Eleanor

Eleanor,

Despite your mothers best efforts and yours, you did not show up before your set c-section date. No matter how severe or frequent your mothers contractions were, you just sat in place. By "sat in place" I do mean you punched her kidneys and ninja kicked her bladder, but all attempts to "hatch" were nil. So here we sit, just hours away from your birth. I have to be honest little one, I'm terrified.

I'm scared for the surgery that takes place for you to join us. I'm scared that maybe you won't be born completely healthy. I'm scared that the hospital no longer offers fathers endless supplies of Lorna Doone cookies (ok not really). But most of all I'm scared that I won't be a good father.

It won't be for a lack of trying, all I want to do on my time on this planet is to make it better for my kids than it was for me. That is in no way a knock on my upbringing, it's just a goal I think every parent should have. But right now I'm so unsure of myself as father to TWO kids.

I adore Lucille. The kid has me wrapped around her finger. I feel like it's unfair that she got 2.5 years of alone time with me and that you'll have to share my attention. I'm also worried because my heart feels like it's going to explode because of how much I love Lucy, how am I suppose to love another one as much and not die?!?! I know it will be ok, my friends that have multiple kids have all told me that it works out, I'm just voicing my anxiety.

Then of course I worry about bringing home enough "bacon". I worry that I will drown in diapers, bottles, binkies, and estrogen. I worry that I'm just not that good at being a Dad. I guess you could just say I worry about everything.

I just want everything to work out perfectly. I want the operation to be go smoothly. I want you to be healthy. I want you and I to have the same connection that Lucy and I do. I want our family to be perfect and I know it will once you arrive. But for the next few hours, I'm going to panic.

Love, Dad

Uncertain tomorrow

What a crazy roller coaster this life is. Just when you feel like everything in life is perfect, something comes up and dashes away those feelings. After 10 years of dedicated service at her work, my wife was let go. No real solid explanation, the HR guy brought in to do the deed even confessed his confusion as to why. I have my thoughts on what really happened, but it's not my battle or the proper forum so I'll leave it. But what kid of company lets go of a person who's given them 10 years of service and is 8 months pregnant? That's what kills me. She's due at anytime and they cut her free and took away her benefits. She did nothing immorally, nothing that deserves that kind of punishment. It was a "sorry, but we don't think this is working out" kind of deal and they sent her packing.

What a vile thing to do to someone. At my work there is a process that must be followed to let someone go and this place skipped about 5 steps. Such a poorly run company and I think that other peoples agendas took over. Maybe it's time to lawyer up?

In any event, here we sit a few weeks or even days away from the birth of our second child and we have lost a massive amount of our income. I've never been so scared or unsure in my life. My wife is a smart gal and will find something, that I'm sure. But the reality is that nobody is going to hire an 8 month pregnant woman who is then going to be taking maternity leave. It looks like 3 months without that income.

We will survive. It's what we do. We have a great cast of supporting family and friends. All these people, along with my awesome wife, is what's keeping the smile on my face, despite the uncertainty in my stomach.

Top Ten Games of the 1990's

Nearly four years ago I wrote a blog about the best games of the 1980's. I said that one day I'd write a blog about the best games of the 1990's. I didn't intend to wait as long as I did. I actually started brainstorming and writing down ideas right away. But this task was huge. I was 10-19 years old during the 90's. As a young boy during that time, you can imagine I played a lot of video games. Plus, those 10 years we saw so many good games. Hundreds of awesome games. How could I possibly come up with a list of only 10? Well, I couldn't. But I've forced myself to do it now. I'm sure this list could be written a dozen different ways depending on my mood, but I'm going to stick by my guns on this one. So with all of that said, let's start off with a few that just missed the cut...

The honorable mentions:

Metal Gear Solid, BattleToads, Twisted Metal, Grand Theft Auto, Madden Football, LoZ: Links Awakening, Sonic 2, Silent Hill, Pokemon (name your color), and the countless "beat em ups" like Final Fight, Ninja Turtles, X-Men, Streets of Rage, and so on...

10. SimCity 2000
Mac & PC 1994, Consoles 1995-1996

SimCity was an unexpected success. Hardcore video game fans and casual fans alike flocked to the city building simulation. SimCity 2000 took everything good about the original and made it, well 2000 times better. With better graphics, a new 3D style layout, and countless scenarios, SimCity 2000 allowed me to play, destroy, build, and grow cities of my own creation. The game made you plan how you'd zone land for agriculture, commercial business, residential areas, government buildings, and more. Depending on how habitable your city was and how much you would charge your Sims taxes, would correlate with how your city would thrive. There was a massive amount of strategy you'd need to make a great city, or you could just cheat and enter the code "I am weak" to have endless amounts of money to create the city of your dreams. This game alone has made me purchase a Playstation One, well past its prime, just to play again.

9. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater
Playstation, Dreamcast, N64 1999

Just squeezing in at the end of the 90's comes the first game in a classic video game franchise. Tony Hawk's Pro Skater burst on the scene at the height of the X-games, and Tony Hawk was a Gen-X star. The game featured critically acclaimed controls and graphics for the time and was as much fun to play as it was to look at. But one thing the Pro Skater games always delivered on was the soundtrack. No other game at the time, or maybe even ever, has had licensed music that fit the theme and feel of a game so well. Featuring artists like Primus, The Dead Kennedy's, and Goldfinger, the soundtrack added as much depth as anything else. Even though Pro Skater 3 came out in 2002, and is obviously exempt from this list, my favorite music moment happened to be when Motorheads "Ace of Spades" blared through the speakers and kicked your ass while you were doing aerials, flips, and grinds. Deep levels full of ramps, rails, and hidden areas made Pro Skater a game that was highly re-playable.

8. NBA Live series
NES, SNES, N64, Playstation 1995-1999

EA Sports! If it's in the game, it's in the game! Those words came crashing through your speakers each time you popped in your copy of an NBA Live game. Before the classic series was released in 1995, EA was releasing NBA games under different titles. First you had the playoff series games including The Bulls VS Blazers and The Lakers VS Celtics, and then in 1994 came NBA Showdown. While these games were all fine games, they weren't as polished or had the depth that the Live series did. Live was one of the first sports games that let you manage your roster by trading players, creating players, and kept detailed stats on the season. Sick of Felton Spencer as your starting Center? Well go ahead and trade him for David Robinson. Sweet deal. The Live games were the first sporting games that I remember making an elite shooter actually shoot better than others. Guys with above average leaping ability could dunk from farther out. The game really was the first to aim for more of a simulation feel over the arcade style of most sporting games at the time, well that is until Karl Malone would throw down a 360, two handed slam, but who cares? It was badass! Sadly, the Live series never transitioned well with the current consoles and has since been abandoned.

7. Golden Eye 007
N64 1997

If you play video games today, chances are you have played Halo, Call of Duty, Battlefield, or countless other first person shooter games. If any of those games are amongst your favorites, you owe a great deal of gratitude to Rare and the Nintendo 64 for this game. Before this game came out, first person shooters, like Doom, were a PC style game. Many in the industry didn't think that a FPS would work well on a console. They were dead wrong. Based off the 007 movie of the same name, you control James Bond in an open world, 3D environment. Your purpose is to stop some baddies from ruining the financial stability of London. I think. I just loved running around awesome looking levels (yes, the haven't aged well) while shooting the hats and helmets of the bad guys. But as awesome as the campaign was, the 4 player deathmatch is what made Golden Eye the 3rd best selling N64 game ever. What is a common video game theme now, was new with 007. The deathmatch pitted you vs 3 of your buddies in a match to see who could kill each other the most. With great level designs, fun weapons, and at the time, excellent graphics, Golden Eye started what Halo, Call of Duty, and the rest have followed.

6. Street Fighter 2 & Mortal Kombat (1&2)
Arcades and consoles (1991-1993)

In a tie comes the two most played "fighters' of the 90's. Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat. Similar in format, but completely different in execution. SF2 was released in arcades in 1991 and was met with immediate success. Based off that success, Mortal Kombat was released in 1992. The reason I have these tied is because both were huge to the industry, huge with fans, and I thoroughly enjoyed them both. Where SF2 felt like a more polished fighter, with fast moves that could be turned into combos, fun character designs (even if a tad racist when looking back), and slick cartoon animations, MK was over the top with violence, gore, sexual tones, and used sprites based on actors. MK's use of Fatalities after winning fights were fun to watch, if you could input the right combo in time. Both games had their pluses and minuses when comparing them, but I just couldn't pick a winner. I could ramble about both games, but I'm guessing almost everyone who's ever played a video game has played both of these titles. So based of their equal awesomeness, they will share this spot on my silly list. Moving on...

5. Super Mario World

SNES 1990

Making use of the huge visual and audio upgrade over the Nintendo Entertainment System comes Super Mario World for the Super Nintendo. As the fourth Super Mario game released, this story follows the Brothers on their vacation to Dinosaur Land. Being the helpless Princess she is, Princess Toadstool is once again kidnapped and Mario and Luigi must save the day.  This classic side scrolling adventure game introduced many new elements to the Mario games including Mario's sidekick, Yoshi. Using an overworld map, similar to the one introduced in Super Mario 3, 2 players can take turns as Mario and Luigi by playing through different maps in true Super Mario fashion. With timeless music, beautiful graphics, and deep level design, Super Mario World is one of the highest rated games of all time. Along with being bundled with many SNES consoles, this game has sold over 20 million copies, making it one of the most purchased games ever.

4. Super Mario 64

N64 1996

As big as an upgrade as Super Mario World was to its NES kin, Super Mario 64 was leaps on bounds bigger than what we were used to from the SNES. For the first time a Mario game was going to be played in a free roam 3D world. Breaking away from the 2D side scrolling games we've known him for, our favorite Italian plumber was once again saving Princess Toadstool (AKA Peach) from Bowser, but this time through 3D polygons and open world level designs. This game, like Golden Eye, revolutionized its genre. With the new 3D worlds, Mario was given new jumping and running abilities, and the camera system that followed your character is still leaps and bounds better than many used today. With much bigger levels, this Mario game is deeper than any before it. It has hidden areas, hidden coins, and power ups, making exploration absolutely fun. The levels in this game are some of the best in any Mario game and I spent many hours replaying this game to find every hidden coin and star. For me, this was not just the best Mario game released in the 1990's, but one of the best games ever created.

3. Tecmo Super Bowl

NES 1991

Like it's baby brother on my 80's list, here comes Tecmo Super Bowl on my 90's list. Being the first video game ever to be both licensed by a pro sports league and the players association, Tecmo was the first game to feature real NFL teams and players. Even though this is common practice now, this was the first time you could play a game with your favorite team and favorite player. Super Bowl expanded on some things from the first game including having twice as many plays to call, offensive substitutions, injuries, fumbles, coin tosses, post season play, and the pro bowl. Keeping its arcade style of play, Tecmo was one fun game that I spent a lot of time playing. The game was released at the end of the NES's run and was released again with improved graphics for the SNES. This game too was an absolute blast. They released two more versions (SB 2 & SB 3) on the SNES during the 90's and I bought and played each one for countless hours. Many people who love sports games would have probably put a Madden game on their list, but to me, no football game has ever been as much fun as the Tecmo Super Bowl titles. 

2. Resident Evil

Playstation 1996

I'll say this now, I love Resident Evil games. All of them. Even the bad ones. So maybe I'm a little biased having this title as highly ranked, but this is my list so deal with it! ;) Anyhow, in 1996 Capcom released a little game called Biohazard in Japan. The Playstation (which can I say did not age as gracefully as other consoles) got a port and was renamed Resident Evil. Taking place in Raccoon City, you take control of one of two S.T.A.R.S. members, Chris Redfield or Jill Valentine. Each player has different abilities and the story progresses a little differently based on your selection. After reports of cannibalism taking place in Raccoon City, Team Bravo is sent to investigate. When they do not come back, Team Alpha is sent in. You spend the game exploring a mansion that is full of undead enemies and awesome puzzles. I love survival horror games for their drama, frights, unexpected twists and thought provoking levels. The Resident Evil games have some of the best puzzles in all of gaming. Sure the graphics haven't aged well, the tank controls feel even more odd than before, but Resident Evil has so much to offer, it's easy to get past all of that, even today. This game was one of the first to feature multiple endings based on what you accomplished while playing. Just typing this makes me want to grab some typewriter ink, a box of bullets, and some green herbs (no, not that kind of green herbs, Adverse!). 

1. The Legend of Zelda - Ocarina of Time

N64 1998

"Listen!" It's safe to say that Ocarina of Time might just be my favorite video game ever. Like Super Mario 64, OoT was the first Zelda game to utilize 3D graphics and polygon characters instead of sprites. This game is a little bit action/adventure, a little bit role playing, and a little bit of a puzzle game. You control Link, from a 3rd person perspective, through the land of Hyrule. Your quest is to save the Princess Zelda from the evil Ganondorph. At the time it was released, Hyrule was a massive video game world. On your quest you encounter many different areas with different races of people. The Kokiri, which Link lives with at the start of the game, are a forrest living people who have fairies and talk with the great Deku Tree. The Goron are rock like people who live on mountains and volcano's. The Zora are a fish like people who live underwater around Hyrule. The Gerudo are a tribal people consisting of women that move about like vagabonds. The Sheikah are an almost extinct race of ninja assassins. They Hylians are the common humanoid people of the game, which Link himself is a member of. The game also has its race of fairies and Gods too. With your interactions with the different races and people in Hyrule, OoT delivers a diverse game with deep story progressions and interactions. During your time in Hyrule, Link is given the Fairy Ocarina and later the Ocarina of Time. This musical instrument allows link to travel to different areas, solve puzzles, access the master sword, and then time travel. By traveling in time, Link must solve some puzzles as a small boy to then later access as an adult, and vise verse. If you need to get through a small entry way you can play your Ocarina, turn into young Link and then crawl through. Then if the next area requires a weapon only the adult Link can carry, you play the Ocarina again to turn into an adult. That is actually an over simplified event to show what the Ocarina can do, the puzzles involved are done so well and were so much fun. The game is filled with excellent side missions, fun town folk, random nonsense (chicken throwing?), and great controls. But the one thing Zelda games do better than others are the "dungeons". This game does not disappoint. The level designs, puzzles, and then boss battles are some of the best ever in all of gaming. And unlike my love for Resident Evil, most video game people feel the same as I do about OoT. Not only was it chosen as the 1999 Game of the Year, most reviews of the game have said this game is about as perfect as gaming gets. 

Whew... Finally done. I'm not going to say anything about making a list about the 2000's. Talk about pressure! Anyhow, I hope you enjoy this read and my thought about the best game of the 90's. If you think I missed something or one of my games listed is way off base, hit me up! 

Oh my little Lu...

Little girl,

That's what you are. You're no longer a baby. Sure you still do things that babies do. You want a binky (bee) at night, you fight me on using your big girl potty, and you still sleep in a crib. But that's where the baby part ends. You are a little girl.

You talk in full complete sentences. You can easily convey for emotions, thoughts, and wants. You memorize song lyrics in full with just a couple listenings and then woo your mother and I with your version. You have a seriously funny sense of humor and are quick witted too. Have I mentioned you talk well? Of course I have. Want to know why I keep bringing that up? It's because you don't stop. I call you "Motor Mouth Maybelle". You just keep going. And going. But I love every minute of it.

Soon your baby sister will be born and we are all so excited. You talk about her all the time and are fully aware that she lives in your moms belly but will one day come out "to play" with you. I'm equally excited and nervous for the day she comes. Will I be able to handle two little girls? Yikes.

I love you to the moon and back little girl. You're "my buddy" and "daddy's best friend". Thank you for bringing so much joy into our lives, my little Lucille Joy.