Dear Lucy

My dear Lucy,

Friday we find out if you're getting a baby brother or baby sister. I'm very eager to find out what the baby is. Your mother and I are defiantly worlds apart, because of me, on a name if it turns out to be a boy. If it's a girl, we have a name set. Maybe. Your middle name was going to be Marie until a couple weeks before you were born. At my Poppa's funeral, your mother heard a cute story about how my Mom was suppose to be named Joy but Poppa changed it during her church blessing without Grandma Lucille's knowledge. Your Mom loved that story and because in a way it still represents my Mom, Grandma Lucy's wish, and because you brought our lives so much JOY, we made the change.

I know you're only two and despite the fact your Mom and I think you're way too smart, I know you won't be able to read this for a very long time. But right now when I try to tell you these things, I sometimes tear up and you just think your Dad is a sad, funny man. So I thought I'd put in down on a blog, pens and paper are so 1998. The real purpose wasn't to tell you the story behind your name. I know you'll hear that a bunch of times growing up. The real reason I'm doing this is to tell you I love you like I've never loved before.

When we found out about Rufus (one of the many ugly names I use when talking about baby, it drives Mom nuts), after the initial excitement, I actually got scared. I love you and Mom so much, but in very different capacities. I will never love another woman like I do your Mom, she's my world, my best friend, and partner. But the love for child is so different, so powerful, it's actually something very hard for me to describe in words. Anyhow, when I got scared it wasn't because I didn't want another baby, I do want another child really bad. I just got scared and wondered how I could ever love another child like I do you. I obviously know it's possible, my Mom had four kids and we all felt like we were the favorite. But the love I have for you makes me feel like my heart could burst at any moment, makes me shed random tears of happiness, it's turned me into that obnoxious parent that has to show everyone your pictures. Yes, I'm that guy.

So again, captain tangent, what's the point? I just want you to know that no matter what attention the new baby gets, no matter how cute and awesome Rufus will be, and no matter that Rufus will be loved AS MUCH as you, nobody will EVER BE LOVED MORE. You're my little buddy, and I love you beyond the stars and back. You're only two years old and I absolutely adore you. I just want you to always know this, and I will spend my life reminding you, embarrassing you, and doing what I can to show you. I was meant to be a Daddy, and I'm thankful everyday that I get to be yours. Happy Valentines little one.