Wednesday, November 23, 2011

An apology

Words hurt. The pain they can cause can last much longer than physical pain. Sometimes we say or type, depending on the delivery, things that do damage that was unintended. I use this blog as a forum the to clear my mind. Sometimes I write about video games. Sometimes it's about sports. I even wrote a few detailed blogs about the different hotels I've stayed in while playing in Vegas. However, many of my blogs have been very personal.

I started this blog back when my wife and I were going through a very difficult time. I used this blog to vent, to heal, to establish a connection, and to reach out to her. Similarly, I've used this blog to write about on going issues with other family members. In doing so it has helped me clear my mind and to work through my pain. But in doing so I have continued to hurt those I want to reestablish a connection with. They say there are two sides to every story and I've put out my side for all to see. I realize that it isn't fair to put that stuff out there, especially since the others don't have a voice in the situation.

I'd like to say that I'm going to stop writing about any family trouble, and that is my plan, but I don't want to make a promise and seem like a liar if I end up word vomiting on here. With that said, I really am going to try to stay away from throwing anyone under the bus. Even if I feel a certain way, or I'm hurt by the situation, throwing it out for all to read won't fix anything. I'm going to try to stick to the happy-sappy stuff and the silly frivolous stuff on this blog. I can always start a diary if I need to work out my family dealings.

To all of my family, the ones on good terms, and to the ones on fragile terms, just know I love you. All I want is for you to be happy and to have peace. I want nothing but good things for everyone. I want to be a good father to my sweet baby girl and I'm going to focus my energy into loving her. Life is too short to have any ill will towards anyone. I choose to fill my life with love. I never meant to make the situation worse, I just wanted to work through it the best way I knew how. I do apologize. I love all of you, and I'll always be here.