Daycare, babysitting, and long weekends....

I wish I were wealthy. Who doesn't? It's not like we're broke. Sure we have our bills and debts, but Jill and I make ok money. I just wish I made more. I wish I made enough money that Jill didn't have to work and could stay home with Lucy. It is so hard for Jill to go to work everyday and drop Lu off at her sitters. I wish I could give Jill the lifestyle she deserves, but it's just not possible. Most homes I know have to have two incomes to survive comfortably. And we are comfortable.

But as much as it hurts Jill to take Lucy to her sitter, it makes me sad to be apart from her too. Sure, the first couple of times I was home alone with Lu all day was a bit scary and overwhelming, but I'd rather be with her then not. I miss my baby so much when I am at work that it makes my ulcers burn. I just worry about my daughter. My caveman instincts to protect are in full affect and I stress myself out. I am fairly comfortable when Jill is off work and home with my baby girl, but nonetheless I am full of some sadness and fear.

Right now my awesomely great in-laws watch Lucy on Saturdays when Jill and I both work. They split the Saturdays between my house and theirs. The Saturdays when she stays with them are the hardest. Because they live an hour away from us, Jill has been going up Friday to drop off Lu. Since I work pretty much every weekend, Jill ends up staying the night up there. Then Saturday morning she drives back down to work in Draper. After work she drives right back up to the Roy area to her parents home. She spends the night again, because I work EVERY Sunday and she gets Sundays off. So I don't get to see my wife or baby from the time they leave Friday until Sunday night when I come home.

The situation works and it make complete sense. I usually work until 8 or 9pm so by the time I get home I don't have much time to see my girl anyways. Plus it gives Jill a chance to see her family, who she adores! It also gives Lucille a chance to bond with her grandparents. I know how important that is. Growing up, my grandparents were my world. I love them all so much and they hold a place in my heart as dear to me as my parents. I want Lucy to have that connection with them like I do with mine. But with that said, it still breaks my heart to be apart from her for so long. I actually left work early yesterday and had half a mind to baby snatch my own child :) I know it will get easier, and I know we are making the right choices for her care. But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Perhaps one day I'll win the big one in Vegas or someone will run me over and I'll win millions in court. But until then I'll continue to work hard to provide my family the best life I can, and miss them in the process...