Do you ever feel like you are still a kid and the world is full of grown ups who understand what the world is all about? Do you feel like you are lost, and just kind of making it up as you go? If so, then you think as I do.
Sometime I feel like there is suppose to be some big eye opening "AH HAH" moment when everything comes together and makes sense, yet it never comes.
I am very happy in my personal life. My "professional life" leaves something to be desired, but all-in-all I am very happy.
However, I look at my Dad and I see a guy who has it figured out. He understands the world. He knows how to fix everything. He is big and strong. He can grow a beard with more than six hairs. He is a man.
Then there is me. I do not look "manly", I just look like a fat kid. I can't fix anything. I'm rather average and not very imposing. I feel like a 29 year old kid.
When will I feel like an adult? When will everyday life feel "normal" and when do I stop feeling lost? When will this silly world and my purpose in it make any sense? I thought by 29 I'd feel like an adult and I'd have things figured out, but inside I feel like the same kid that went to Hunter High 11 years ago, just 60 lbs heavier.
3 comments:
Maybe we'll feel grown up when we're parents?.....
I think these things all the time.
I keep waiting for the day I wake up, look in the mirror and see a woman....I still see my 19 year old awkward self.
That is just life my good friend. No hidden mystery around the next corner. No all of a sudden click and it all makes sense. We feel this way because that is how it is.
Think about our parents, they always seemed to have the answers, and know what the big plan was. but if you ask them now, they were just scared too, trying to do the best they could and keep on moving.
It is the journey that is worth taking and figuring it out as you go.
The older I get the more I realize our parents just act like they know everything so they don't freak us out. I asked my mom about becoming an adult a while ago, and she said it was when she moved out and got a condo and a car and a job and had bills to pay. My dad said it was when he had kids and suddenly HAD to be the adult.
Also, what's wrong with being 19 ears old and awkward?
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